Being in a relationship that is gradually running out of love and trust is very intimidating. Sooner or later one of the spouses would think of divorce as the most satisfactory choice than continuing bad relationship.
Of course, separation is hard, especially when you have cherished your married life and family, but if you have surpassed the threshold and has taken some serious decisions, it’s time for the reality check!
Furthermore, common sense suggests that putting up the right questions before getting married can make a better decision, but rarely the counter is true. This could also be justified because when the divorce things happen, the person being in a stressful frame is in no mood to get into the questioner. And, that’s the mistake!
Neverthless, even if your ultimate decision is to put an end to the marriage, taking suggestions from professionals and asking the right questions might prove worthwhile. Here are a few things you should ask:
1. Is You and Your Spouse Are Serious About Divorce?
Marriages may come to an end, but the divorce will last. Before you start thinking for the breakup, discuss things with your spouse and check if you have any future. Divorce can put you through the emotional wringer, which is why you should ask your spouse whether or not reconciliation is possible. One way to figure out this is to take some time to observe the best in your partner.
2. Have You Communicated Properly?
There might be situations when you think you have communicated well, but your partner has still not heard it. Since couples are always in the state of “I’m going to say this to my partner,” they don’t put much concern on how their spouse is going to react.
For instance, you think that your spouse is not giving you time and don’t understand you, they will not change unless they are aware of this. These situations can lead to divorce and daily fights. So, make sure you clear everything and speak truth to your partner. This can save your marriage and can help in healing if marriage dissolves.
3. Do Both Of You Have Fulfiled The Expectations You Have From The Relationship?
There might be situations when one person expects the other to take charge of everything and if he/she prefers not to, the problems can occur. However, sometimes the problems might be simple, but your partner fails to understand.
4. Is There Any Way You Can Save Your Marriage?
Not every difficult situation leads to divorce; many couples, especially those who share the same business or have common significant assets think separating instead of dissolving their relationship. Also, a legal separation might get you to taste the process instead of fully committing to the do-it-yourself divorce.
You can also think of annulment, if you have cause to believe that your marriage is agreed under false pretenses. For instance, one of you have children from another relationship; then you can ask the court to nullify the marriage as if nothing has ever happened. This is one of the cleanest and hassle-free way to end your relationship.
5. Would You Be Happy Without Your Partner?
Have a realistic approach to identify what you are getting in your relationship is worth giving up. Perhaps your partner is not willing to help you with everyday chores; their co-parenting skills can offset the negative effects. So, think what’s more important to you and then decide whether you want to end everything or want to stay in it.
6. How Will You Save Kids From The Negative Effects Of Divorce?
If your relationship is not working and you don’t want to stay together, divorce is the only solution! But, remember, you are a parent and will always be together as parents. You will also be visiting in each other’s life. So, think of that too, but don’t make kids as cannon fodder.
While there’s no sure fix ways to divorce-proof your marriage, but at least you can try the best at surviving and thriving. However, having a conversation on these issues before you get married will ensure that you are getting into the relationship with the strongest foot.
Rebecca has been writing about dating, relationships, marriages, divorce and other tips at Lovelearning since long. As blogger, she provides consulting and advisory services focusing on the above niches.